Thesis #1: Snorlax: Gandhi of Pokémon?

The one thing I’ve always thought is unrealistic about the Pokémon universe (the one and only thing) is the meek subservience of all of those creatures cute and clawed, small and psychic. None seem to mind turning into some sort of energy and getting imprisoned in a tiny torture-sphere (“Pokéball” is the euphemism for these killdomes). Imagine this hypothetical situation:


“Honey! The boss is coming over soon and this cheese plate isn’t up to snuff. I know one way we could improve it, but he’ll be here any minute and we need it now. I know: we’ll get ol’ Charizard to do it for us!”

And Charizard will do it. Never mind that he is a badass flying dragon; these ‘trainers’ will treat him like their illegal Mexican maid. If they have a bonfire out back, they don’t need to bring a bucket of water out, just bring Blastoise (aside: hey why does Charizard get his own Wikipedia page but Blastoise doesn’t?). Even though he’s a huge creature with friggin cannons on his back, he’ll suck it up and do it. When ordered to, Blastoise would even attend the owner’s daughter’s lame Christmas recital even though he knows that it will be like, totally lame. He’s just following orders.

But this is nothing new. We’ve been controlling animals for a long time. One could even say the foundations for Pokémon trainers are even laid out in The Good Book. Just see for yourself:

Psalms 32:9 – “Man's dominion over animals includes the right to harness them by bit and bridle. Man has the right to use and control animals for the benefit of man.”

James 3:3-7 – “Again, we put bits in horse's mouth so that they obey us. We tame every kind of beast. Man is in control. Animals should obey us. Thy got to catch them all!”

The hierarchy is established. Marx has no hope, until...


“Snorlax: Leader of the Revolution.” It’s so obvious, isn’t it. I’m sure I don’t even need to explain it. 

But in case I do: Snorlax is the rebel Pokémon, the one who does what he wants and only helps you on his terms. “Hey Snorlax, go and fight that Pokémon for me!” you’ll say; and what does he do? He keeps sleeping. There’s no way he’s going to do what you say just because you said it. Snorlax is his own master! The only way to get Snorlax to do what you want is to play his game: feeding him or playing the flute. Can you blame him? The dude loves the Tull, and will help out as long as he can get his groove on. 

Snorlax’s name comes from a portmanteau of “snore” and “relax”, and consequently I’ve always felt a deep affinity and connection to him, more than any other Pokémon. (and dare I say...human?). He’s an inspiration to us all, a model for which we can base ourselves on. He resists oppression through passive resistance, and he knows that you need him more than he needs you. And he always gets what he wants. He is literally (yes, literally!) the Mahatma Gandhi of Pokémon, maybe with a little bit of Jesus Christ thrown into the mix as well. Now that dude loves the Tull.

In the unlikely event that still you don’t believe me, keep in mind that my theory is peer-reviewed by other scholarly sources.